Today I had a realization, not a new one, just one that I wasn’t conscious about. The thought has probably been mulled around subconsciously. I bumped into someone this morning, someone who use to play an integral part in my life. Our ways parted somewhere along the way and after a simple five minute conversation, I breathed a sigh of relief that they were no longer in my life. Yet it was merely only a couple of years ago that my life revolved completely around them, feeding off their energy and conducting myself according to them. How many times had my friends and family told me that they were poisonous, slowly sucking away at my soul. I was blinded and morphed into a zombie in an insane cult. I had blinders on and could not see anything that my friends saw. Toxic, the best word I can think of to describe them. They only acted kindly if they could benefit from it. Their selfish actions masked by an air of innocence. I am glad to say that the veil has finally lifted and I can see them clearly for who they are.
If I were able to time travel and go back in time, to that miserable time and stare at myself, I would be horrified. How could I have let myself become this person? I think most of all, I am terrified of the blindness. Any advice or pleads fell on my deaf ears. How could I have been so blind? Scarier yet is how do I make sure I am never blind again.
image/photographer via JR